Update

It has been so long since I have written anything on here, but for some reason today I just really had the desire to keep up with this. I love looking back over my old posts and something about writing is very therapeutic to me.

I would consider the past ten months of my life to have been the most defining ones to date. I have gone through so many changes that I never expected and so many difficult and seemly unbearable times, but I am so grateful for them. I know that there was purpose behind them, because I honestly don’t think that I have ever felt more myself.

At some point in life, everybody experiences heartbreak. Sometimes you can see it coming and try to avoid it, sometimes it comes out of nowhere. Whichever way it comes – it breaks you down. It leaves you feeling alone, confused, and hurt. It leaves you questioning yourself, your choices, your past, and where your future will take you. In my case, all I had ever known seemed to be turned upside down.

It has been a long journey, and I know that it is not over yet. But I can say that tonight, for the first time in a long time, I feel completely and whole-heartedly at peace with where I am in my life.

I have figured out who my true friends are in the wake that all that I have gone through. I was forced to re-evaluate where I want to be five years down the road and what I want from my life. I’ve gotten used to being alone and stopped letting my happiness depend on the actions of somebody else. Most importantly, I’ve decided what I want to prioritize in my own life and what type of person that I want to be from this point forward.

Eight months ago I would have never thought that this day would come, though I have prayed for it often. I thought that there would at least always be a bit of lingering sadness (dramatic, I know). I never thought that I would feel genuine happiness again, but I do. Even if this feeling is fleeting and tomorrow I am back to feeling anxious and on-edge about what is in store for me, I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Sharing my feelings like this is not something that is easy for me, but if one person who is going through a rough time reads this and feels hopeful- then it is well worth it.

xo,

Jaclyn